Belated Birthday Resolutions 2024
Why?
Why reflect and set resolutions? Not just to have something to measure against, but to guide my daily decisions and help me focus on what matters to me.
Top-down with a focus on values, and broken down into examples or key results.
Past: 2024, 2023, 2022, 2021, 2020, 2019, 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011.
Gut check
As a quick gut check, what's on my mind heading into 2025, what would serve me and those I care about?
Sounds silly to write this but, being nicer, more considerate? My stress levels have been quite high the last few weeks. Compassion, starting with self compassion, may be key.
Top 10 values, in order:
- Health - placing importance on physical and emotional wellbeing
- Relationships - connections between and among people
- Play - imagination, spontaneity, the ability to be amused
- Stability - taking on day to day activities in a calm and consistent manner
- Spirituality - appreciating the need to understand one's inner self and its relationship with the world
- Recognition - acknowledgment and/or validation
- Privacy - the need for solitude or separateness
- Flexibility - the ability to adapt to different environments, situations or change
- Education - placing importance on learning and education
- Achievement - places importance on the fulfillment of activities, goals, tasks or work
Rereading my 2024 reflections, I find myself having stressed or urgently chased solving problems, especially at work. The last quarter of the year especially felt too busy, too intense. Adding to that, my parents are getting older and struggling with certain things.
Another big theme for me over the years has been feeling the pressure of time. How can I - reframe my perspective to feel like I have plenty of time?
The theme for 2025 is compassion, which is a hard one for me. It doesn't come naturally, especially self compassion.
Sidenote: I'm excited to be dictating this post for a change. I've been wanting to reduce the time I spend typing or staring at the screen, and have been able to find an awesome tool which I highly recommend, Talon Voice.
2024 in review
2024 started out stressful as well, then getting into April and beyond I began stepping away.
As spring kicked in and the weather got warmer, I began spending more time outdoors, heading to Wyoming, and generally working less. I shared with my team that I was kind of burnt out. That lasted for quite a while, and I was fortunate enough that the business was sufficiently strong to get through this period, with help from my coworkers of course. I was looking forward to a much needed break and travels during the month of August, but my parents had some difficulties in July.
In the end I was able to travel, but it started out rough with a flight cancellation and rearranging part of the trip. All worked out, and I was able to work just over a dozen hours during the four week trip. I came back feeling more optimistic, and catching up with family and work. It was a very late summer, warm through the end of October, and actually it barely snowed this quarter at all.
As the year is coming to a close, I'm feeling similarly stressed as a year ago, having struggled to catch up and stay on top of everything I feel I should be doing.
Health-wise, I was able to exercise a lot, my legs are ninety percent recovered and I gained some muscle and was able to kiteboard more than 15 days in Colorado alone. My shoulder and neck are probably a little worse than they were a year ago (though my elbow is better), and physically that is the one thing I would like to change and heal. Family wise, I've been spending more time with my parents and I'm looking to support them more in 2025.
Opportunities:
- Q1 started with hard work to launch a new project. This conflicted a bit with my travels, but I made it work.
- I enjoyed several snow days during '23/'24 winter, though it also made my schedule feel busier with the longer drives and overnights to justify them. Still, I have nice memories spending time with a friend, enjoying the hot tub. No regrets.
- Gardening was easy and tough this year. I tended to the garden less, and overall it was a dry year which made it tough to grow anything. Next year, I'll be taking a break from growing food altogether.
- Got to kite in a new place near Denver - Aurora reservoir. Beautiful spot, though Wyoming remains my favorite. Also got to foil in Wyoming for the first time ever, and feeling more comfortable with that.
- Got a new grill and enjoyed using that. Hope to keep using it into 2025, I'm sure I will.
- Enjoyed mocktails at the farmers market. Got cornhole and had fun playing that a while.
- Gained some muscle and strength in my legs. Was able to strengthen my arms, including the areas that were sore and weaker, which helped my posture and recovery overall. My weight came down to the mid-180s most of the year, and am now back to the low 190s. I figured that'd happen heading into winter!
- Loved traveling to Ireland, Slovenia and Croatia. Beautiful places, views, great food, and spending time with an old friend.
- As I returned from travels, I got into swimming, and just this week managed to swim 1km in one session for the second time.
- Had some great breakthroughs in therapy around anger--both by sharpening my tools, but mainly by sitting with it (and myself) in compassion. Who knew that letting feelings be felt for a few minutes every day can make such a big difference?
- Finally got a new car and I'm loving it!
I'm feeling quite stressed as this year comes to a close, and really looking to release that over the holidays.
For 2024, my goals were:
- Physical: Steady and Balanced
- Emotional: Warmth and Connectedness
- Mental: Tranquility, Roots and Leadership
- Spiritual: Fly and Play
Physical: Steady and Balanced
Grade: B+
Affirmation:
I give my body the time and rest it needs to heal and strengthen between the times I push. I know I can push hard, but can I "rest hard"?
Overall, this affirmation has stuck with me through the year. I've had periods of pushing hard physically, for example working out 5 days a week in September - 4 weight days + 1 cardio. That resulted in some genuine muscle gain, and the program really worked. I also gained strength of course. It felt very rewarding to gain some chest muscle! There were also months when I rested or worked out quite a bit less to give my body a break.
The tough part is my upper body tension, as I'm ending the year with higher levels of stress and longer workdays, I have a lot of soreness in my left shoulder/upper trap/neck. The last week I've been giving heating pads a try, and looking to add in the prana mat, the infrared lights, more magnesium sprays, and come up with other ideas. Acupuncture has been helping as well.
I was able to step back from work in the summer, which was nice. My legs are doing very well. There are occasional aches, especially on the left quad and calf/Achilles from some harder sessions on the water, but they are overall holding up strong.
Well:
- Started out with PT and moved towards Rossiter's, and eventually acupuncture. Figured out my elbow pain and now it's mostly neck and upper trap.
- Worked out many times through the year, with different programs, including some tough ones. Was able to step away from workouts when I was tired, busy, or otherwise not fully recovered.
- Got back into swimming and routinely swim 600-750m, with a couple of bursts to 1km. Feeling super proud of this, as when I started my BPM would be well over 140 after just a couple of laps and I had to rest a lot. I probably spent about 25 minutes to get to 500-600m, and now I can do 1km in 35 minutes or so, with a lot less rest and overall lower BPM in the 130-140 range. So rewarding!
- My body has shaped up well, with an overall similar waist measurement as last year (mostly lower this year than last, until Q4), and gained some decent muscle elsewhere. Serious muscle gains in September, and serious strength gains in my legs. As a prime example, I remember returning from a kite day in Wyoming, and holding all the kite gear by the backyard gate while I stand on one leg and push the gate open with the other, feeling super steady. I still have very good balance on one leg from that, and part of it is due to focused workouts.
- Got an incredible number of days on the water in Colorado and Wyoming this year. I gave McIntosh a try, but decided it's not worth kiting there. Met some friends that go to Aurora and went there a few times with good success--only 1 day didn't work out. And Wyoming never let me down, I even had a beautiful session where the rain came through and then the wind turned south. I got to paddle board for 30 minutes and then the wind came up and I went out again in South wind, and it was so clean and steady and relaxing. I was able to enjoy longer sessions again, and relax more on the water. Being able to ride 2-3 hours a day or more has been so rewarding! Also, fall was warm and late, and so I got to kite all the way into end of October. Even had a chance to go in November but decided to pass. Got a new kite I have yet to try. Excited for next year!
- HTMA results made me stop taking magnesium. Look forward to see results of that soon.
- Used the trampoline here and there. Took breaks here and there.
Nell:
- Didn't do as much yoga as I hoped, but... a little. And threw in some pilates too.
- Still feeling lots of upper body stress.
- Still got headaches due to eye strain and poor posture.
- Digestion had its ups and downs. Still experiencing some bloat. Overall though, I'd put this at 80% of where I think I could be, with some of the year being solid 90%+. My partner got into baking sourdough and I'm grateful to be able to enjoy that without my skin breaking out.
Intention:
Steadily take care of my body, daily, consistently.
It's not an A because my shoulder and neck are hurting, mainly. Otherwise most of my focus areas here grew and got better.
Emotional: Warmth and Connectedness
Grade: A-
Affirmation:
I love my life and appreciate what I have every moment. I'm surrounded by caring, kind people.
I did love my personal life quite a lot this year. The trouble is, I had difficulty stepping away from stress due to work, and later on, family. I had bouts of frustration and anger, and developed tools and practices in therapy to help me with that.
One of the tools was a daily check-in and sitting with "Hulk", and familiarizing myself with what anger is like in my body. And a second, more powerful concept was the validation of anger, and recognizing that it's an important feeling just like the others, and I shouldn't just brush it aside. I was able to have some honest open conversations with my partner as well, and hope to remember these lessons for years. So, that feels like a big achievement.
Well:
- Stepped away from work some in Q2/early Q3. Was able to let go of stress when the opportunity arose, and get suport from my team to do so.
- Some enjoyable QT with my partner. Saw my parents more, especially Q2/Q3.
- Made friends kiteboarding and am excited to be part of a group of wind sports folks now.
- Worked through some anger and frustration in therapy, and that was a very satisfying WIN for the year!
- Was aware of shallow breathing and took more deep breaths. Downregulated my nervous system quite a bit at times, though the year overall was stressful which made it tough.
Nell:
- Still spending quite a bit of time in "alert mode"
- Would like to connect more with my partner, although we had some good bonds this year.
- Failed to take afternoon rests. But, I was able to take more breaks during the workday, generally. Added a mid-morning/noon ish walk that I did many times, although I also skipped it many times.
Intention:
Feel warm and safe and loved and connected. Everything is OK.
I'm emotionally fairly centered, but a bit thrown off by my own temper and stress levels built up during Q4. I do feel fairly well equipped to DO something about it, but am unsure if I have enough time to do it. Another aspect here is self-compassion as well as compassion for others. I'd like to give that more room and focus in 2025.
I'm giving myself an A- despite some important misses, because I really did have some breakthroughs with anger, and change in my values and priorities with my parents' misadventures.
Mental: Tranquility, Roots and Leadership
Grade: B-
Affirmation:
I am unshaken, a pillar or a strong tree, rooted in my Romanian past and leading a collaborative team/environment.
I'm happy I was able to read 2 Romanian books this year, that feels rewarding. The year also ended with a nice Christmas celebration with family and Romanian carolers coming by to sing--I couldn't help but tear up during the few songs they sang! Beyond that, reconnecting with my high school friend in Croatia was really fun, and even though I didn't visit Romania this year, I made an effort to keep my brain engaged.
I do feel emotionally strong, but I also had some outbursts and periods of high stress.
Well:
- Created some space, took deep breaths to downregulate my nervous system.
- Generally let go of sense of urgency, but struggled with afternoon breaks.
- I did discuss this overall in therapy and struggled to come up with additional ideas. Compassion?
- Read 2 Romanian books and started looking into Audiobooks--I have that queued up for next year.
- Lead the team with transparency, though I could be more compassionate. Proud of transparency and directness overall.
Nell:
- Did not write 1 Romanian blog post yet, but I did journal in Romanian
- Was rough with myself and the team under stress. This is understandable, and human, but it still sucks.
Intention:
Remember my roots and lead with patience and compassion.
I've made some mental breakthroughs through emotional growth this year, and that's a good indication to focus more on emotions as a gateway to my mental health in 2025.
The B grade is fair for the challenges I faced, but it was a real struggle to engage in a less stressful way with work. It makes me wonder whether the whole thing is even worth it and whether I should change my work life in a new direction. Had some good discussions about this with a consulting friend as well.
Spiritual: Fly and Play
Grade: A
Affirmation:
I am one with those around me. Nature protects me. All is well in the present moment.
I was able to find comfort in the present at times, and to really enjoy detaching, time in nature, and resting, during travels and otherwise downtimes.
Well:
- Enjoyed time with kitties. Olive often rests in my lap during the workday and it's a nice way to rest and relax.
- Had some inner journeys, but would like to do more
- Really enjoyed Ireland's beauties, lakes of Slovenia, and drives through Croatia. Also really enjoyed kite trips in Wyoming and Colorado, snowboarding and driving in nature.
- Enjoyed QT and my partner's beauty <3 and we had some shared growth in communication and bonding over the economy, politics, and our views as we are changing and getting older/more mature/etc.
Nell:
- Did not start a family
- Did not meditate much this year
Intention:
Live like a bird. Relaxed on a branch. Ready to fly and play in the wind.
Overall I didn't have a deep spiritual journey this year, but the experiences I did have were very rewarding, and I feel like I have grown more than I expected.
2023 goals
Quick review of 2023's goals, what's changed after another year?
- Physical: Bolster and Balance
- [+] Changed to higher carbs, really helped with muscle gain and gluclose levels. Stuck with that through the year
- [+] With more than 4 years since COVID and I have yet to really get sick. Nothing this year, really. No shots, either. Incredibly grateful and lucky!
- [+] Continue to use the trampoline. Take walks and breaks before lunch.
- [+] Used the kettlebell for workouts. Not so much for relaxing, though I thought about it. Used the punching bag here and there.
- [+] Solid swimming since September
- [-] Still some struggles with bloat and glucose levels. But, am wondering if mostly due to stress
- [-] Still sore in neck/shoulder. Still getting occasional headaches from eyestrain as well.
- Emotional: Kindness and Support
- [+] Great progress in therapy, breakthroughs in handling anger and my perception of it. Reduced outbursts this year!
- [+] Made some new kite friends. Got a community feel now. Got into snowboarding and did well at that!
- [+] Had a nice vacation in August and was able to step away!
- [-] Struggles with self compassion and self blame still, stress levels high at times
- Mental: Guide and Surrender
- [+] Awareness of stress levels, aches, posture more so. Big focus on that.
- [+] Good use of lists/must-dos
- [-] Still getting pulled in and obsessing over occurrences. In particular a conflict with a former employee that lingered through the year.
- Spiritual: Float and Observe
- [+] Baths, self care going great.
- [+] Beautiful nature in CO and WY, travels to Europe
- [-] Dropped off meditation, though I still do it 1x/week or more sometimes
- [-] Struggle with self-compassion, I am hard on myself.
What now?
My theme for 2025 is compassion. Both:
- self compassion, offering myself understanding, patience, forgiveness and the benefit of the doubt, mostly understanding that I am human and can make mistakes or not always do everything perfectly
- and compassion for others, taking care to consider that others are just doing their best, or might be having a bad day.
In both cases, also remembering that the outcome or current situation is not nearly as bad as it seems.
I'm proud to have stuck with my goals another year, and to reflect quarterly on this site. While I did not feel as inspired about my yearly goals as in some past years, it was also rewarding to not feel like him measuring up against a mountain of things to do.
As part of this year's reflections, I'm incorporating the values exercise we got as part of my business group. The exercise calls for selecting values out of a deck of cards, discarding down to 15 most important, and then 10, and then 5-6, keeping in mind these may change with age, and are not fixed forever. So here are my top 6 values for the year:
- Health - placing importance on physical and emotional wellbeing
- Relationships - connections between and among people
- Play - imagination, spontaneity, the ability to be amused
- Stability - taking on day to day activities in a calm and consistent manner
- Spirituality - appreciating the need to understand one's inner self and its relationship with the world
- Recognition - acknowledgment and/or validation
Following up with this, I'm supposed to come up with phrases that contain these values or connect to them. And my own addition to this is to incorporate them into the 4 goals that I outline for my year.
If it was December 2025 and I looked back on the year, where would I want to be?
- Physical: Move, Play, Give Myself Time
- Emotional: Self Compassion and Quality Experiences
- Mental: Journal and Appreciate, Sustainably
- Spiritual: Cherish what Life Brings Today
Physical: Move, Play, Give Myself Time
I liked the gradual approach of 2024, and managed to make steady progress healing my shoulder and neck, strengthening my legs and glutes as well as the rest of my body. I ended 2023 with an anti pattern a rolling my left shoulder forward, and continued that into most of this year. Just the last few weeks my shoulder has started to feel better as I deployed a set of tools such as:
- heating blanket
- infrared lights
- roller and stretches
- neck pillow
- baths
- pranamat/acupressure
- acupuncture
- posture corrector
- time off :)
My intention for 2025:
Be curious about how I feel, check in daily.
Affirmation:
My body wants to heal and feel better. It wants to play and enjoy moving.
- Give my body time
- Mind my posture, strengthen it, pay attention to it
- Take a break and move when I'm sore. Rest my eyes too.
- Space out the things I do further apart than I think
- Move
- Stretch, daily, especially neck, shoulders, arms and legs.
- Strengthen, 2x/week. Feel strong. Steadily gain strength and muscle.
- Swim or otherwise do cardio 1x/week
- Continue walks, yoga, pilates
- Look into wing gear, get some by Black Friday 2025.
- Release tension (swimming is great with this, but also baths, kiteboarding)
- Play
- Enjoy kiteboarding, tennis, board games, walking. Value physical activities whenever there is an opportunity.
- Play games in general
- Play with my partner and family
- Look at my work and daily tasks as play, too, whenever possible. Remember that it can be fun
As for my values, this goal incorporates health through time (patience, reduced stress) and movement, and incorporates play as well.
Emotional: Self Compassion and Quality Experiences
2024 was a tough year emotionally. My parents are aging and need more support. My business has stressed me out more than in years past (for multiple reasons), and I got very involved with the projects I was leading as well as the people working on them. I found myself stressing in the evenings, on weekends, and generally drowning in thoughts about work. On the flipside, I developed some good practices around dealing with anger and had some good conversations with my partner around this.
For 2025, I'm giving myself the year to feel differently about my job and my business. If too many weeks in a row I am still wondering if I should still be doing this, it might be time for a change. I'll see how that goes when we get there.
Intention:
Care for my inner self like I would for a dear friend.
Affirmation:
I am doing my best and, when I need to, I rest. I take time to empathize with myself and others.
Breakdown:
- Self compassion and care
- Re-start a morning meditation, even just 5 minutes. 10 even better.
- Remember what's most important in life, it's not the day to day grind, but my health, relationships and having a good time, enjoying the experiences that life presents.
- Quality time with family, partner
- Support my partner with her goals and efforts
- See my parents at least 2x/month and help them with whatever they need to take care of: be it cleaning, finances, appointments, shopping, etc.
- Bond and spend quality time with partner and family. Create quality experiences with those around me, especially my close ones.
- Compassion with others
- Take a step back and give coworkers the benefit of the doubt more. Patiently consider what they might have thought when doing X or Y (or not doing).
- Embrace my temper, but don't throw at others so readily
- Develop friendships
- Have fun with new friendships. I've met some nice folks through wind sports groups and would like to see them again.
- Look for opportunities to embrace a social situation and connect with others genuinely.
This goal mostly incorporates my theme for the year, self-compassion and compassion. It includes emotional health through relationships, stability in the face of life's daily challenges, and play.
Mental: Journal and Appreciate, Sustainably
Mentally, my stress levels were high much of the year. In the middle of the year I stepped back and kind of checked out from working hard but then my parents had some misadventures, there was a trip in the middle, and I came back to ramp up on work more and more. Now I still harbor frustration, stress and resentment at the thought of heading back to work. So, in 2025 I'll focus on reframing my perspective around my work, responsibilities, what I have to do and when, etc.
Intention:
Create space, awareness, and calm in my mind and my environment.
Affirmation:
I notice and recognize good efforts myself and others make.
Breakdown:
- Journaling
- My partner inspired me to begin journaling daily, just jotting down some thoughts. It can be any time of day, though I hope to give it 5-10 minutes in the morning and the same in the evening. The main intention here is to shed light on how I'm doing that day and notice when stuff is piling on or what needs attention. Also, sometimes making lists or getting it out on paper can be calming. I'm really hopeful this will help my mental health.
- Pay attention to my nervous system. Notice my stress levels, maybe write down a number each day.
- Culture of recognition
- I want to create a culture of recognition at work, and encourage others to appreciate each other's efforts, with the hopes that it will also trickle over to me.
- Create a positive work environment. Make it fun. Play. Joke.
- Solving problems may be rewarding, but so is the journey. Celebrate it. Encourage learning.
- Recognition is a tricky one to ask for.
- Sustainable pace
- Work at a sustainable pace. Take more breaks than I think I need. There is plenty of time.
- Rest. Rest. Rest. Space things out. Have a daily list (already do), and pick off the minimum first, then add a little bit at a time.
- Remember, I'm not chasing anything, because there is nothing to catch. Even when I reach or complete something, the next thing is just around the corner. And yes, there is a thrill or reward for achievement, but it's not any less fulfilling if I take time to get there at a more sane pace (in fact the opposite is likely true).
- Use tools to make my workday easier such as dictation and AI.
- There is always plenty of time. There is no other good way to work.
- Boundaries
- Don't work after dinner. Stay off my work email or laptop for work-related tasks.
- No phone use after 8:30pm in general. No laptop either.
Mentally, I nourish myself (health) through stability and a culture of recognition and fun (play).
Spiritual: Cherish what Life Brings Today
Spiritually, 2024 was a good reminder of what's most important in life, even though when I am busy I tend to lose sight of that. I got to experience some tranquility and peace on the trip in August, especially in Ireland with slow mornings and reading.
For 2025, the focus is on self compassion and recognition. Both being recognized and recognizing others as well as what's important. And I always incorporate time in nature as it's very healing for the spirit.
Intention:
Celebrate getting through each day, being present and kind.
Affirmation:
I cherish today, all it has to offer, and appreciate chance to share it with others.
Breakdown:
- Spiritual compassion
- Experience quality connection with self and others
- Recognize that, with age, we all get to celebrate what we're still able to do and experience, as our body needs more care and understanding.
- Through journaling, as well as sitting with myself and my feelings
- In morning meditations, incorporate appreciation for my body, my emotions, my thoughts, and my inner self.
- What must I do? Not as much as it seems.
- Recognize and appreciate myself
- Detach from the daily (kiteboarding is great for that, as is time in nature)
- Recognize my efforts, appreciate my own accomplishments and than I do many good things
- Feel a sense of peace and contentment for having lived a good life, for being healthy, for being able to
- Love and intimacy
- Through quality time with myself, my partner, and my family, experience the beauty of connection and be present with it.
- Ask: what am I blaming myself for? What am I blaming others for?
Of course, this goal encompasses spirituality, and expands on it through recognition and creating stability.
Final Reflection
While 2024 had many stressful moments, it also brought a lot of joy, inner growth, and opportunities for reflection. Here is what I celebrate, most but not least (?):
- A continued focus on my body, recovery, strengthening and relieving pain. Working through a variety of modalities (massage, PT, acupuncture, Rossiter, stretching and weight lifting, etc).
- Kiteboarding at least 15 days locally, mostly in Wyoming but also in new places (Aurora, Croatia). Kitefoiling locally as well, getting over my fear of that in Mexico.
- Spending more time with family
- A beautiful trip to Europe, enjoying Ireland, Croatia and Slovenia. I still think about the unlikely chance of discovering raw milk at vending machines in Ljubljana, and enjoying that over and over. I also remember: breakfasts on the beach in Orebic, swimming in lakes in Slovenia, and enjoying a good stew after a chilly walk in Ireland. And driving around everywhere.
- Working through and sitting with my anger ("Hulk") and developing tools as well as compassion towards it, integrating and acknowledging there are benefits to anger as an emotion.
- Snowboarding early in the year and staying strong on my legs! Enjoying hot tubs and hot chocolate with that.
- Strong body 💪, gained some leg, bicep and chest muscles through workouts, especially in September.
- Getting into swimming, and going from "man, it's so hard to breathe and I don't know how people can keep going back and forth for so many laps" to swimming 1km with probably a total rest time of 1/3rd or less than when I started swimming 500m!
- Playing tennis with dad and being there for him in his struggles later on.
- Enjoying lots of chocolate truffles. Mocktails. Making mocktails. Getting into making bread with my partner, and sharing that with others.
- Getting a new car, very excited to use that more in the next years!
- Using dictation to write part of this blog (although dictating uses different thought muscles than typing, it's interesting).
- And many more, I'm forgetting.
My goals for 2025 feel softer, and also an extension of 2024 in many ways. I'm excited to revisit at the end of next year, and of course every week, month and quarter between now and then.